actually, something major did happen in the past few weeks. we shifted mum-in-law's remains from the choa chu kang columbarium to a temple in upper bukit timah (tua pek kong temple at 10 jalan seh chuan to be exact). everyone seems to like the new location as it's relatively near with a few transport options (when downtown line comes up, it's going to be even more convenient). and the number of the niche that we selected has an extremely auspicious ring to it.
the shift was very smooth sailing albeit for a bout of heavy rain in the early bit. it was all down to planning and baby had to take a lot of credit for it. first of all, you have to apply to the office at the columbarium about the impending shift so that the staff can update the system and give permission for the removal of the urn. next you have to engage someone to remove the urn. this can be done via the columbarium which has a list of contractors but we found our own. also, you have to find a priest to do some chants before removing the urn.
afterwards, you need to burn some papers but since it was raining slightly, we skipped the process (we would burn the papers at the temple later). a son had to carry the urn with a joss stick and on the way to the new resting place, everybody in the same vehicle as the urn has to say "过桥" (crossing a bridge) whenever the vehicle passes a drain, an overhead bridge, makes a turn, goes over a hump and goes under a bridge.
at the temple, we had to pray to all the gods first to seek permission to allow us to place the urn. after that, you place the tablet (not before arranging the offerings of food) and everybody prays to the tablet. the final gesture is to burn the papers.
the thought of going to the temple instead of the columbarium for mum-in-law's death anniversary is pleasing since we no longer have to lug a table which conversely means more space for offerings. so far, a few relatives have gone to the temple to pray on their own and everybody is happy about the shift.
i have to say this though: there's a real estate market for the dead. to understand what i mean, do your own research.
we also found a new and effective way to discipline joaquin: it's what we call the "face the wall" method. it's nothing revolutionary but it's so effective (joaquin's probably going to read this post in a few years and grit his teeth at suffering such an indignity). basically, whenever he does something wrong that we feel needs immediate guidance which is in turn rejected by him, we dish it to him. he has to face the wall. now you may think how is it effective since he doesn't feel any pain nor is being talked to. but you have to realise that we are dealing with a toddler here who is still incapable of advanced cognition and taking away his freedom to roam is almost akin to killing him. right now, obviously we don't punish him for more than 5 minutes and he also doesn't realise where he went wrong but the bottomline is he remembers the punishment and is not liable to commiting the same offence.
a few tips:
- place him in a position that is safe and where you can see him.
- administer the punishment in a timely manner.
- tell him why you are punishing him and after the punishment, tell him again and make him realise his mistake.
notes: got a commendation at work... woohoo!!! brietling navitimer or tag heuer heritage carrera... ring or watch... ring and watch?!?! to phuket or not to phuket... going to manila in about 2 weeks... by the way, tag heuer = 豪雅 in chinese... me likey...
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