death is the acid test

the nights are long but the years are short.

not words uttered by some famous philosopher but a gynaecologist who removed baby's ovarian cysts. it means that when you are taking care of your baby, the nights are long. indeed. but what does the latter part mean? well, although you spend many sleep-deprived nights taking care of your child, the truth is, when you reflect on their growing up years, it's actually quite a short period of time.

it's true. looking at joaquin now, it's hard to imagine that he was a frail, helpless (ok, maybe he's still helpless), crying mess of a baby. now, he screams at you when you don't concede to him, laughs heartily along with you even if he doesn't know why everyone's laughing, and he's a bundle of energy when he gets on his walker. his favourite thing is running rings around the dining table. i think he's discovering the inner athlete in him.

baby and i had a long chat last night. it was a good one and i hope it was therapeutic for her in a way. she's been having a hard time coping with mum's death and it's never a good feeling when a loved one leaves you prematurely. she really misses mum a lot. i have been grappling with my conscience as well for the past 2 weeks.

after all is said and done, your family is the only thing that is bound by blood to you. i always like to think that joaquin is my legacy to the world. and of course, i hope he will be a good one. what i like to know is, when your parents pass away, do others think they have done a good job with leaving a legacy behind?

sad to say this but i don't think i am somebody who whom my parents can be proud of. maybe not even marginally satisfied. my career is average, my network is average, i don't exhibit strong family values and i'm no role model in the community. inevitably, it is my wish and (i presume) the wish of every child to be someone his/her parents are proud of.

on the other hand, joaquin makes me immensely proud as a parent. he's cute, lovable and ever so willing to make new friends (although this is not necessarily reciprocated sometimes despite his charm!). he doesn't even have to do anything. but in the future, i really hope that he become everything that i wasn't and more.

mum's 三七 is approaching (next wednesday). it's going to be another busy weekend.

notes: had a lot of fun walking with joaquin at the void deck just now... disneyland shanghai? there goes disneyland hong kong...

头七

according to chinese custom, when one's beloved has passed away, prayers and offerings must be given every 7 days after the date of death until 100 days are over. however, that's kind of difficult in today's context so we are visiting my mother-in-law on the 21st day, 49th day and then the 100th day.

most of mother-in-law's siblings (in fact all but one) came to offer their prayers. among the nephews and nieces, only hansheng could come. as with most things, too many cooks spoil the broth. it was a solemn affair but complicated by many opinions, of which the ones that really matter are ours and uncle andy's.

we started off by praying to 土地公. this is to seek permission to offer our prayers to mother-in-law. thereafter, we started setting the altar. with the enormous turn-out, it was quite difficult to bring all our offerings in and set them in front of the tablet.

the most heartening thing (and personally i believe that was what mother-in-law wished for) was that we could bring joaquin there. it was kind of hot and there was scant ventilation but he held up pretty well. we managed to coax him into making the praying action (palms together) to 'greet' her.

it rained heavily after we reached home. i hope that's an omen that she's touched and truly in a better place.

another custom is to have a container full of rice to signify to our mum that there is enough food for the entire family. the rice must be level. if she visited during the night, the rice would look as if it had been touched.

the rice in our kitchen did look as though it had been touched. we could see the slight imprints of fingers and there was a deeper indentation that showed that a finger had dug deeper.

also, when we slept last night, joaquin was tossing and turning and to prevent him from waking, i patted him to reassure him that we were there. i felt a presence in our room, much like the one in the car a few nights ago. then, the presence left once joaquin went back into sleep. i like to think that was mum.

each of us has been coping with her death in our own way and i'm sure she will want us to be united as a family.

missing

just logged into my work email and got so scared that i logged out after replying to some of the more important emails. it's amazing how information flows so quickly and in such large amounts today but at the same time, it's crazy how we have to decode and intepret the information and then respond accordingly.

i think the piece of information that many of us haven't been able to digest these few days is the death of my mother-in-law. and for me, it's been especially strange. as i mentioned earlier, i haven't had much contact with her yet i feel close to her. it's like we have actually been communicating all these while without talking or meeting.

maybe the common quality in us is that we both love kids. i mean in a generally affectionate manner. i helped my grandma bring up some of my cousins and as kids, i was always more than willing to muck around with them. even now, i am still xbox-ing with baby's kid cousins.

but in the aftermath of her demise, baby and i came to the conclusion that she was extremely keen on meeting joaquin and we deprived her of her right as a grandparent to do so. you can never imagine the guilt that baby and i are going through right now. we only ever let her see joaquin once and even that was a hush-hush affair and conducted in a swift manner, much like an execution at the guillotine.

perhaps this closeness has led me to believe now in that there's life in the afterdeath.

on the first night of the wake, i made the call to have all of us go in shifts so that we wouldn't all be fatigued when the day of cremation came about. on the first night, boon went to rest while baby, i and puishan took the first shift. i sent puishan back on the second shift while baby soldiered on.

everything was normal on the way to puishan's place. however, while driving back, i felt a presence in the ride in the backseat. i looked back and there was nothing. however, i still felt the presence so i looked back a second time and there was nothing. when i looked at the road again, i felt my mother-in-law's presence.

it was warm and reassuring. it was kind of what i imagined my relationship with my mother-in-law would have been.

maybe it was fatigue or just paranoia. but the next morning, when i recounted this to the rest, puishan chipped in and said she felt mum's presence walking with her to her home too.

today, ah ma said while she was sleeping over at our crib last night, she also felt a presence beside her. and the way she described it was the way i described mine.

uncle andy and ah ma had already dreamt about her.

we all miss her.

notes: joaquin's not sleeping well these few nights... just tossed and turned...

bereavement

the past few days have been extremely exhausting and difficult. baby's mum passed away last thursday morning.

once the news broke, we were confounded by questions like where we should hold the wake, the type of funeral, support from the family, etc.

what type of person is she? that was the question foremost on my mind. truth be told, we never had much contact with her, even after we got married and had joaquin. joaquin met her just once.

she loves kids. she has doted on every cousin that baby has. from the stories that baby tells me, i think she would have loved joaquin to bits. she would have spoilt him rotten. i think joaquin would have connected with her real well too.

she was a generous person. uncle andy remembers her generosity well and was the beneficiary of it during a difficult time. she would give money to those in need without question.

there are other stories, of which there are too many to tell. frankly, i was surprised at the sadness i felt for her. i don't really know her yet i feel i know her from the stories that baby has told me.

i am convinced that she's a good person and because of certain issues, baby and i have indirectly stopped her from seeing joaquin. perhaps the guilt made me sad but when i think about the trials and tribulations that she went through, it's hard not to love this person.

and it's sad because you forget a person's flaws when he or she is gone and you remember the good things. then you want to tell that person how fantastic he or she is but you no longer have the chance to. you wish you spend just ten, or even 5 minutes more with that person, but that option is no longer available.

joaquin has lost his first grandparent at such a tender age. he hasn't even gotten to know her, let alone spend time bonding with her. i am quite lucky in that i got to spend quite a lot of time with my grandparents, except maybe my paternal grandfather.

we are going to her resting place on wednesday to give her offerings.

airports

i have been to a few places in the world now so i can pretty much do a ranking of the airports. unfortunately, i have forgotten most of my experiences in europe and given that i was there in 2004 (or 2005) the last time, i don’t think it will be really fair for me to judge those airports i have been to based on a hazy memory. anyway, here are some of the airports i have been to recently (ranking in chronological order from best to worst) and the months/years i were at those airports are in brackets:

1. changi airport terminal 3; singapore (october/2009)
   the winner (not by a long shot though) is proudly, our very own airport in singapore. award-winning architecture with an (slight) emphasis on being green, efficient check-in service, fantastic and diverse retail offerings, solid line-up of dining options, clean toilets, a more than adequate number of “pit-stops” and smart sign-posting make this airport the best in the world in my humble opinion. it’s really a challenge to get bored here (and if you are, you can always get online free).
2. hong kong airport; hong kong (october/2009)
   with some similar characteristics to the winner but lacks a good layout (not so easy to navigate) and slightly outdated interior décor. 2 things about the services at the airport that i will like to see implemented in Singapore; of which the first is unlikely: have trains that go direct to certain populous stops such as orchard and city hall; next is allowing passengers to check in at certain places in the orchard shopping belt. free (and reliable) wifi is another plus.
3. survarnabhumi airport; bangkok, thailand (august/2009)
   wow. what an improvement from years ago. call me corny but i’m a big fan of the wall décor adorning the walkways of this airport and the retail brands are very interesting. the airport has certain retail brands (such as mcm) that singapore doesn’t even carry (correct me if I’m wrong). service staff is typical of the thais (friendly, always smiling and obliging). you’re not short on dining options either as the offering is pretty varied (albeit still limited in that the airport has 1 burger king, 1 shop serving japanese food and 2/3 shops serving thai food). it works for me at least. only drawback is the immigration check which can be inefficient but hey, it’s probably just the relaxed nature of the locals.
4. narita; tokyo, japan (2009)
   my original choice for number 2 but in the end, i thought it was the novelty factor that nudged me to place it past hong kong. but the train system at the hong kong airport gave it the impetus to move past narita.
5. kuala lumpur international airport; kuala lumpur, malaysia (august/2009)
   very confusing lay-out and having to take a train from the plane to the immigration is always a bad idea (one that i also dislike about t3). service staff is not very friendly and has lesser retail options than the other airports.
6. shanghai airport; shanghai, china (september, 2009)
   slightly better than the beijing airport before it was renovated for the olympics; despite shanghai’s astounding economic progress over the years, airports always give a first impression of the city to visitors and on this count, shanghai has failed.
7. nanjing airport; nanjing, jiangsu, china (october, 2009)
   a much poorer cousin of the beijing airport. and i don’t get the idea of checking in just 1 ½ hours before the flight. on hindsight, that could be good as there is absolutely nothing of note in the departure lounge.
8. aquino international airport; manila, philippines (july, 2009)
   i suspect it’s a bus interchange masquerading as an airport. you have to pay a ridiculous airport tax of 550 pesos (if i remember correctly) to fly out but there has been no improvement to the airport in years, the luggage trolleys are dodgy, the service staff are dodgy, you can’t get excited about the shops in there. i can’t remember being so eager to get onto the plane as i’m the type who like to linger at a quiet spot in the departure lounge. unfortunately, there’s no such luxury either at this airport. and immigration check is a crawl.

according to baby, joaquin knows how to comb his hair and even hers. and baby has theorized that joaquin is possibly ignoring our pleas to get him to call us “daddy” and “mama” although i think he’s been forced to do that on a couple of occasions when he needs us to carry him.

i finished reading ‘congo’ by michael crichton. not sure if i’ve read it before but it sure is an interesting book. crichton probably does an insane amount of research before writing a book and it’s really interesting to see how he throws in a curveball in the grand scheme of things in his stories and still makes it work.

i can’t believe facebook is banned in china. i mean, let’s face it: you can’t possibly stop every avenue of information on the internet. there are proxies to help you bypass firewalls and if you close 1 today, a new one pops up tomorrow.

feeling slightly sick, i think it’s the pollution in nanjing. it seems worse here than in shanghai. amazingly, very few places accept credit cards here. in fact, the only place where i got to use the card was at the hotel.

ok, city is level with wigan at 1-1. got to go.

the post about nothing

been sleeping on a lot of things recently, including this blog. truth is, there isn't any life-changing events recently although joaquin gives us the usual nuggets of fun and surprises. right now, he seems to have developed a fear of walking (kind of strange as he hasn't fell down before while walking) but we are trying to eradicate that by encouraging him to walk without holding onto anything. hopefully he doesn't develop a crutch mentality.

quite surprising really because when toddlers learn to walk, they love to walk. for joaquin, it's kind of he discovered walking but grows to dislike it. right now, he only walks when he's on a bed. probably he feels safe in the knowledge that he will not fall onto anything hard.

we went to bukit panjang plaza to try out the food at the new 台湾小吃 restaurant. it was pretty good but of course, as all things go, the food's overpriced. the strategy to keeping joaquin quiet in a restaurant environment is to keep feeding him. we fed him rice, biscuits and chicken. but what he really was aiming at was our mango shake! of course we didn't give him that.

today, we went to takashimaya. i thought i could buy something for the crib but in the end, something made me decide against it. maybe it's just plain old uncle-ism... saving money for a rainy day. but the trip wasn't exactly fruitless. and today's crowd just proved that the recession might just be over; for people in singapore anyway.

we had our lunch at sushi tei. baby reckoned we have too much; i agreed since i couldn't take anything more than rice and soup at ah ma's place.

ok, that's a wrap.

singtel reveals epl package

the package costs sgd23 (excluding gst) per month and if you are a sports junkie, it will cost you just 2 bucks more.

if this is true, then singtel's got a customer in me.

the weekend of mooncakes and the wedding

wow quite a few things happened over the weekend so i'm really at a loss as to where to begin. ok, let's start with mooncakes since the mid-autumn festival's just over.

my company gets quite a lot of mooncakes from our associates and vendors. the list of brands that we get:

1. shangri-la
   we got this in boxes of 8 pieces. they are cute and small and frankly, i can probably finish one by myself. the paste is smooth and the skin crispy but not burnt.
   
2. breadtalk
   this one is poor in comparison to shangri-la's. everything except the box felt amatuerish.
   
3. fairmont
   a slight variation from the traditional lotus paste as pine nuts are added. the paste is good but i didn't quite like the skin; it has a plastic feel.
   
4. 大中国
   oh yeah... still beats the rest hands down. the traditional confectionary still holds it own against the big boys.
   
5. four seasons
   not the hotel but a confectionary chain. we got the durian mooncakes. one word: yucks.

ok, we were invited to a wedding reception on saturday and on sunday, the dinner was held. as we were bringing joaquin to both functions, we had to prepare on friday night (no, we're not mad. not yet.). as saturday happened to be 十五 as well, this meant we had to wake up early (which is fine since baby was involved in the reception in the morning).

at the wedding reception, things were cool except for the temperature. we then followed the bride to the groom's place (as is tradition) and then had lunch there. the intricacies of the whole event was a stark contrast to our wedding which was a simple tea ceremony. the highlight (for me) was when we were at the groom's place. we chinese have a tradition of getting kids (especially boys) to jump on the newlyweds' bed so as to 'help' them usher a baby; preferably a boy (since boys carry on the family name). so the parents of the groom got a few kids to jump on the bed. then one of the groom's relatives claimed that joaquin was very cute and that he should roll on the bed as well. so the groom's dad came and 'borrowed' joaquin and let him roll on the bed.

we had to leave early as joaquin was starting to kick up a fuss. he needed his afternoon nap and pronto too.

after dinner at ah ma's, i had a piece of mooncake with joaquin.

united versus sunderland was a yawner. meanwhile, chelsea demonstrated their power in the victory against the pool.

joaquin behaved much better at the dinner on sunday. thanks to the food, we were able to keep him occupied throughout and although he threw a tantrum, once the first dish was served, he was pretty easy to handle. and he was definitely the darling of the evening (besides the wedding couple). everyone snapped photos of him and tried to carry him. and baby got a lot of positive feedback about joaquin on monday morning. and now, joaquin's got a bit of an unfair reputation as a big eater. i mean, sure, he did eat everything from the first dish to the last but all he had were tiny morsels of each dish.

and that sums up our weekend.

notes: i will be flying to nanjing, jiangsu next week... be back in time for the public holiday that is deepavali... why didn't you play giggs, fergie?... joaquin really loves his mooncakes and bananas...

price watch: mooncakes

price of 4 大中国lotus paste mooncakes with 2 egg yolks - $26.20

price of box - $0.60

total - $26.80

just to see if the price rises next year.

bangkok - soi polo fried chicken | cnngo

ok, here's the first post about the dining place that i was talking about. it's no 5-star restaurant but from the description, i'm eager to give it a shot already.

excerpt:

The hype may have died down over the past few years but Polo Fried Chicken is still serving up the same fat, juicy fried chicken that made it famous in the first place.

The rest of the menu at this family-owned restaurant is standard northeast Thailand Issarn fare, which means lots of spicy salads, many of which are frankly unremarkable. But one other standout on the menu is the nam tok gai tod, a spicy, herbal salad made from, you guessed it, fried chicken.

The Formica tables and vinyl flooring aren’t winning Soi Polo Fried Chicken any design awards but then again, prices are so cheap you can’t expect much more.

3 soi polo, wireless road, lumpini, bangkok
+66 (0) 22 51 2772

10am-10pm

link: soi polo fried chicken cnngo.

travel bug

baby and i have been confounded by an issue recently. it could have been resolved quite easily; in fact, this issue shouldn't have became an issue in the first place. but a family is like a corporation, albeit with unspoken rules and there is no one rulebook that applies to all families, so all stakeholders have to watch out for one another.

right now, there is a feeling that we are waiting for the death knell. there's no crossing the bridge when we come to it cause there is no bridge. anyway, there's no way we can deal with it until something happens.

well, good riddance to the bad vibes and hello hope. after bangkok, i have bitten the travel bug. i wish baby had it as bad as i do but i'm sure she will like to go with me wherever i go. now we have a little tyke in tow as well so that triples the fun. i'm going to fill this space with little nuggets of information i find as i go along so hopefully when i do go to the places i research on, i don't have to look all over for the information.

baby just reminded me that i haven't been spending much time with joaquin lately so he probably feels detached from me. unfortunately, my earlier resolve to spend more time with him got tested tonight when we had a company call. it was short but by the time it ended, joaquin had turned in. he's got a bit of the running nose too.

ok, i'm putting up a link of a place to eat in bangkok in the next post. it's from http://www.cnngo.com and i think this is a pretty good web site to do your research on the places you want to go to, if the web site has it.

good night.

joaquin + iphone + bathtub + subaru = trouble

today was not the luckiest of days for us. firstly, joaquin threw my iphone into his bathtub. yes, that iphone which is becoming my entertainment hub for the past few months. the iphone which has my favourite tunes. the iphone which is a pretty cool show-off gadget (in its initial stage).

admittedly i was fuming. but not to the point of wanting to hit joaquin (well, maybe a few gentle smacks on the backside). but he was just too quick and sneaky, he grabbed it and the next thing i heard was a plop! sound. luckily, baby had the presence of mind to scoop it out of the bathtub and handed it to me. the protective case did its damage limitation job and the hairdryer did the rest.

the sound didn't work. there was no sound. i was instantaneously the saddest man in the world. and i couldn't take revenge on my own flesh and blood, could i?

after we dropped him off at ah ma's place, it's back to the crib for housework. which felt like crap to the power of infinity. the worst thing that could happen to anyone is for him or her to have to do housework after his/her iphone doesn't work. oh and he peed on the bed too (although that was partially my fault since i didn't change his diaper earlier when it filled out).

we hit cold storage to get some food. pork knuckle is good - i would gladly try that again although i'm not so sure about the rest.

after dinner and wine-tasting (ah gong generously shared with us his bottle of red wine after some persuasion on my part), we took advantage of shell's offer of v-power fuel at power 98 price.

rats.

white boy went dead.

i mean, totally dead. he could not be started no matter how much we cajole him, pressure him or tease him.

we had to call a few friends who we thought we could rely on. in the end, a taxi-driver and a chinese national saved the day.

i now realise how important it is to have useful numbers in one's cellphone. if your cellphone is not dead that is.

but when we returned home just, lo and behold! iphone came alive... it was jiggling, raring to blare out a few of my favourite mp3s. yippee! at least 1 good thing came out of today. hopefully, no parts got corroded or it could get cranky in the future.

i was worried today when baby complained of severe pain in her lower back. it was painful even to make her suggest that she needed surgery. she had never mentioned that she wanted surgery even after her diagnosis about 2 years ago. the reason being that after the operation, she would have to take medical leave of 6 months which meant a potential loss of income.

but it's something we definitely have to address.

notes: we met a kind soul at the station while waiting for the recovery serviceman... the cheese that was supposed to complement the red wine turned out to be a wash-out... mustard with pork knuckle equals to culinary decadence... joaquin with iphone and bathtub filling up equals to trouble...

you give me fever

we brought joaquin for his injection today. it's his 5th (or 4th, or 6th) injection for pneumococcal so there's 1 more left. and after visiting his paediatrician for more than a year now, i realised that he's a manchester united fan as well. i should have noticed the united desktop calendar and those figurines (kind of like bobble-heads).

anyway, he didn't cry a single tear and he was looking on as the paediatrician administered the jab. brave boy. as a treat, we bought a couple of croissants for him from swiss bakery at cold storage in king albert's park. we had mcd for breakfast.

we went to pick up ah ma next to see great-grandma. unfortunately, she doesn't look to be in great shape. joaquin was focused on the grapes that we bought for her. after 20 minutes, we departed for home.

we only had a short nap before joaquin woke up. i guess the pain from the injection is bothering him so he couldn't go back to sleep. and he became fussy till we went to ah ma's place for dinner.

hopefully he's not going to run a fever later.

i'm glad there's no more travelling for me for the rest of the year, only a regional meeting in october taking place here. night.

notes: united won 2-0 against stoke... thanks to the legend giggs... chelsea lost!...

post-shanghai

alright, home sweet home. it was a pretty good trip; it gave me a first-hand account of how much the brand has grown since my last trip. we got a good number of leads too so hopefully that translates to more sales.

breaking news: united won the derby and michael owen scored the winner. yeah, he with the dodgy ankles and ex-liverpool-real-madrid-player history.

i got to try some inner mongolian dishes on the trip as well. they were very fascinating, unlike the usual greasy chinese dishes that one gets acquainted with in restaurants all over china. the proof is in the photos. i was thinking of using these photos to bluff joaquin that his dad had been to mongolia but really, why should i? who knows both of us might have the chance to go together in the future.

joaquin seems to have developed a real close relationship with baby and it's up to me to get back into the game by playing more with him, which admittedly, i haven't been doing much these few days. in fact, i felt guilty last night and made a bottle of milk for his last feed of the day.

he's reluctant to walk these few days; baby and i are unsure if the reluctance is borne out of fear of falling or plain laziness. whatever the reason, we have to get him walking. my strategy is to remove the thing responsible for the 'crutch mentality': the walker. without the walker, he'll have to rely on his own 2 feet. furthermore, he's causing a lot of damage to our furniture by ramming into anything whenever he gets a chance to. doors, wardrobe, walls, tables; you name it, chances are, that item has been a victim of his robust style of moving in his walker.

he's also a lot more vocal these days (although he doesn't look at me when he says 'papa' so we have to shoot the theory that he knows how to talk down) and is definitely not afraid of letting you know his feelings. screaming, shouting, wailing, pleading, etc. you name it, he's probably made that sound.

he also actually made a sound like a pig.

on the food front, he's doing quite well although i still would like him to continue feeding on milk more often. i think ah ma's been feeding him a lot of solids and while i appreciate this (i believe that this makes him more receptive to different kinds of food), milk is still a crucial source of nutrition at this stage. we brought him to a vietnamese cafe and he was quite happy to chomp on fish, chicken and pork. so far so good then.

been doing some research on japan in case we do go there. that's about it.

notes: my production's been dropping in recent months... owen provided the winner in united's carling cup match against the wolves... no, he didn't score; he had an assist...

pre-shanghai

today was one of those days when you feel you did a lot, and there may be a minute amount of truth in that (ok, i was cutting a lot of slack on myself; by her own high standards, baby would have me know that i did nothing).

the 7th lunar month is almost over; this year, it felt a lot quicker (probably because we were in bangkok during the midst of it). except for hansheng sleepwalking on 1 night, the nights were pretty peaceful. yes, he was sleepwalking. apparently, he got up at 0230am and walked into our room despite ah ma calling him. then he proceeded to sit on our bed cross-legged.

that's my version.

baby claimed he was crawling into the space between us. probably due to his habit of sitting beside me to watch me browse the net (ok, facebook-ing).

i vaguely remembered shouting, "oei hansheng! 回去睡觉!" i like to think i put a little force (read: authority) in it.

what happened next was a muddle... he apparently walked back to ah ma's room and slept! i only remembered baby going to the toilet while i checked the time on my iphone (230am). this happened 2 nights ago. and i warned him: no more late nights and i will not let him see me browsing the net ever (ok, facebook-ing; but i was also checking my company emails!). and because of this incident, hansheng has a new nickname: 梦游侠. it has stuck on since and baby, joaquin and i had a lot of fun teasing him. someone will cue, "1, 2, 3!" and then we all shout "梦游侠" and point at hansheng. joaquin probably doesn't get it but he will laugh that hearty laugh of his.

ok, there was nothing eerie about that. hanrong, his eldest brother, sleepwalked too. apparently, there was once he went to the kitchen. and so does boon. ok, now i'm worried. about joaquin! poor boy, his dad has gout and baby's relatives have a history of sleepwalking. things aren't looking so good now for him eh?

yesterday, i tried to change my seat on the flight to shanghai tomorrow but the sq web site was down. darn. these things never work when you want them to. really.

luckily, this is a short 3-days trip and i'll be back on monday which is, incidentally, a public holiday! happy happy joy joy... and what's more, i only need to bring 1 tiny piece of luggage which i hope to bring onboard instead of checking it in. packing is even easier. i don't even need to bring any smart casual clothes, just my shirts and pants.

but tomorrow night and saturday morning is going to be hectic for baby. saturday is 初一 which means she will have to burn some offerings. normally, i do the burning while she sets up the stuff. this time, she will have to do all of it by herself.

with my constant travelling, we could do with an extra pair of hands around the crib but good help is hard to find. of course if ah ma were to stay with us, that'll be fantastic but i'm not sure if i can live with the smog that comes with her cooking. i'm not knocking her or anything like that but you know the grease that can happen once you start cooking.

meanwhile, baby is managing pretty well on her own now. i noticed that she's became a lot more steadfast since the bangkok trip, probably because we did a bit of praying. she's not radically superstitious or anything like that but i guess praying is a form of therapy. for me, because i have been praying at the erawan shrine every time i've been to bangkok, i will probably feel that something is amiss if i ever miss praying there when i'm in bangkok. touch wood though as i have always managed to squeeze in a prayer session with every trip.

every time baby is not around, i feel the pressure of doing the things she does. she really does a lot every night and you really have to do the things she does to appreciate that. and i can't tell he enough how much i appreciate her.

thank you baby.

that's it. got an early flight to catch tomorrow.